


A Snowy Walk

by foolish_snail



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: (or at least could be seen as one?), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Get Steven Therapy Challenge, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Pizza, Post-Episode: s06e10 Prickly Pair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22117090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foolish_snail/pseuds/foolish_snail
Summary: Connie finally made it through exams! After all of her hard work, she decides to reach out to her best friend to join her for a victory pizza.Turns out, he’s not doing as well as she thought.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 47
Kudos: 440





	A Snowy Walk

**Author's Note:**

> Slight warning for something that could be seen as a panic attack!  
> This is my first fic in a while so please feel free to critique in the comments.  
> Have a lovely day!

After two weeks of studying, Connie finally made it. She finished exam week and made it to winter break. Between AP books and study guides and violin lessons, she had walked out of school that Friday feeling the weight of six classes lift off her shoulders. 

Getting off the slow as molasses bus , Connie unlocked the front door and dragged herself inside. Familiar walls lined with photos of her family flooded a sense of calm back into her system. 

The serene scent of her mother’s’ candles and the promise of a decent night’s sleep lulled Connie up the staircase and into her bedroom.  She couldn't remember the last time she had that luxury.

She didn’t even bother turning on her lights, instead Connie simply took a few steps forward, before dumping her backpack onto the carpet, and flopping unceremoniously onto her duvet. 

A deep sigh pulled itself from her chest, welcoming the desperately needed vacation with open arms. 

Though, actual sleep would likely have to wait. A glance to her alarm showed it wasn’t even four o’clock yet. Yes, school was over, but Connie still had to worry about her extracurriculars. She couldn’t quite afford to mess up her sleep schedule just yet. 

Rising to begin her chores for the day, Connie mindlessly picked her room clean. Coffee stained mugs from her various all nighters and plates from dinners eaten amongst essays were scooped into her arms. 

Just as Connie was about to head to the kitchen a stray fork slipped from a plate. It clattered against her desk, making an unpleasant sound as it fell.

Connie’s nose scrunched in frustration, scrambling to balance her tower of dishes. The fork had managed to wedge itself between her Dogcopter figurine and a ceramic pencil holder.  She stared at the silver utensil for a moment as it seemingly taunted her.

Gently, she set the dishes onto her bed, before returning to properly set the fork back into its rightful place. She allowed herself a moment to glare at the criminal pencil holder, before her gaze floated up to the ring of plastic encasing the tops of various pencils and pens. Its pink glow long gone, but the pleasant memory remained. 

The image of a chubby boy in a star shirt offering the bracelet to her, pinkie outstretched, played in her mind. With a fond smile at the memory, Connie thought about her friend. The last time she had seen Steven was… wow. It must have been weeks since they’d last spoken. 

Guilt bubbled up and overtook the soft warmth in her chest. She’d been so overwhelmed with school, she barely had a moment to spare even a text for her best friend. 

No, no. It was fine. Steven was probably just as busy with Little Homeschool. If she remembered correctly, he hadn’t had much free time either. 

A quick check on her phone confirmed her suspicions. Not only had they not texted since nearly two months before, the boy hadn’t updated his social media in any way. 

_ Well,  _ she thought,  _ now I have some free time… it wouldn’t hurt to reach out. _

To: Jam Bud 🌸🍞

3:47pm

_ Hey! Sorry it’s been a while, midterms were exhausting.  _

_ How’s Little Homeschool going? _

A quiet  _ swip! _ confirmed that the message sent, and Connie pocketed her phone. Back on track, she lifted the tower (wary of any loose silverware) and headed downstairs. 

She didn’t get a response from the cheerful boy for nearly twenty minutes, which was odd. But again, he’s probably busy. 

Once all the dishes were clean, Connie dried her hands of any sudsy water before checking her phone. 

From: Jam Bud 🌸🍞

4:06pm

_ hi _

_ dont apologize i just hope they went well _

_ im p sure its going fine _

To: Jam Bud 🌸🍞

4:07pm

_ That’s good, and I’m actually feeling pretty confident about my exams! _

_ Care to join me for a victory slice of pizza? 😋🍕 _

Connie wasn't sure if she was actually allowed to go out for food yet, but she was confident she could persuade her mom with a few extra loads of laundry. 

From: Jam Bud 🌸🍞

4:07pm

_ that actually sounds really nice _

From: Jam Bud 🌸🍞

4:08pm

_ ill meet u at fish stew? _

She couldn’t help the giddy smile creeping on her face, the thought of a welcoming Steven Hug™ brought a flutter to her chest. 

After negotiations with her parents, a time was set, and she continued her chores with a newfound purpose. 

~

Being a Maheswaran meant being prepared and punctual. So Connie was already dropped off, waiting outside Fish Stew Pizza under layers of snow clothes (with a couple of extras in her bag just in case) fifteen minutes before Steven was meant to arrive. 

Much to her surprise, Steven was also early. Five minutes of polite waiting pass, and a Dondai turned the corner by the restaurant. A familiar silhouette stepped out. . 

Donning a puffy coat over his varsity jacket, Steven perks up slightly when his eyes meet Connie’s. 

“Hey, stranger!” She calls out, the winter wind carrying her voice to him. He offers a small smile, and the closer he walks the more Connie notices. 

He was carrying himself differently. His shoulders were drooped instead of the usual cheerful straightness he carried himself with.  _ Tired _ . She met him halfway as he approached her, and they instinctively hugged.

As they cling together, Connie feels Steven gradually hold her tighter. Ever since the boy had established peace among gems and the Earth, Steven had grown a few inches, finally matching her height and then some. So, to feel him attempt to curl into her frame was.. interesting. 

_ Is he okay? _

“I hope you know I’m just using you for your body heat,” she joked, hoping to see the goofy spark return to the boy in her arms. 

Instead he just nodded and pulled away. “Ready for some pizza?” He asked, reaching behind her to hold open the door. 

Her lips curl in a teasing smirk, “Always such a gentleman,” she jests, waiting for his end of the banter. 

Yet again, the witty response never came, and Connie led him inside. 

Obviously, something was up. This quiet, nervous demeanor was very different from the outgoing, optimistic Steven she knew. “You want me to order?” she asked, lips pursing at the nod she got in response. Though she obliged, only getting slightly nervous about ordering (a vast improvement compared to her younger self). 

After asking for a medium pepperoni pizza with minimal stuttering, the pair sat themselves at a table against the parlor wall. Taking off her coat, she noted Steven doing the same, hanging his jacket over the back of his chair. 

“So..” Connie once again took initiative. “How are things down at the school?” 

Steven shrugged. “I don’t know,”

“In a modest way, or a ‘I genuinely don’t have a clue’ way?” She asked. 

The boy shifted in his seat, not meeting her gaze. “I don’t have a clue. I haven’t been there in a few weeks.”

This struck Connie for a moment. “What? Why not?” She gaped. Wasn’t Little Homeschool his idea? His passion project? 

Another shrug. “I just… it wasn’t working. I made it through one graduation and it was too bittersweet,” he explained. Connie supposed that made sense. But, if he wasn’t working at the school then-

“What’ve you been up to?” She prodded. 

“Hey, let’s not make this about me.” Steven expertly shut her attempts down. “We’re supposed to be celebrating! You made it through exams!” 

His sudden artificial cheer was vaguely reminiscent of a different time. “Yeah, I guess I did, huh?” She allowed the idea to sink in again. “I’ve totally earned this week off.” 

He continued to question her about specifics, how the tests worked and why they were worth so much of her overall grade, until the savory, steaming pizza arrived. 

Steven immediately offered to pay, stating “Hey, my dad’s still rich, remember?” when she tried to argue. 

Connie gave up pretty quickly after eyeing the delicious circular wonder in front of her. She served herself a few slices and dug straight in. 

After a few minutes of awkward chewing, she attempted to fill the silence with halfhearted ranting. The change in dynamic was strange, with her rambling, and Steven nodding along. 

Right when she began to really dig into the obsolete education system, she observes Steven. 

He gingerly takes a second slice, peeling off each pepperoni before adding them to a small pile. She pauses her mindless ranting. “Why are you taking them off? Don’t you like pepperoni?” 

Steven flushed slightly. “Um, well. I’ve been a vegetarian for a while now so.. not really. Sorry.” 

“Why didn’t you say something when I ordered?” She asked, trying to keep the surprise out of her voice. 

“This is for you, and you wanted pepperoni.” He mumbled. “Besides, I didn’t want to… ” he trailed off, once again avoiding her eyes. 

“You didn’t want what?” 

Sitting here now, not eating or rambling or teasing, Connie looks at Steven. Really looks at him. 

She observes him under the cheap lights, slightly unnerved by how much she didn’t  _ see _ before this moment. The bags under his eyes seem unnaturally purple, and the dull look behind his eyes startle her slightly.  _ How long has he been like this? _

“Steven-” 

“ _ It doesn’t matter _ ,” his voice cuts through the diner, shaking the room. His irises and skin are suddenly a stark pink, as vibrant as his novelty jacket. 

After a beat, he claps a hand over his mouth, eyes wild and petrified. The outburst seems to have come from nowhere, the pair shocked into a stunned silence. 

Connie doesn’t know what to do. The boy in front of her is trembling, clearly distraught as the pink melts away, retreating. The hand over his mouth is tight, fingers curling and nails biting into pale flesh. The other hand mirrors the action on the gingham tablecloth. His eyes squint shut, shoulders locked. 

She gently reaches in front of her, delicately setting her hand atop of the shuddering grip. He looks up at her, brown eyes snapping up to attention. 

Connie doesn’t know what to do. She watches him breathe for a minute, while Steven’s gaze is firmly planted at her hand on his. The other patrons have resumed their chatter. They ignore his staggered breathing, and the newfound chill filling the restaurant. 

Carefully, Connie cradles Steven’s hand in hers. For a moment, she sees the boy back in White’s head. He desperately tries to claw his way across the smooth floor, helpless cries echoing and ringing in the endless space. Connie doesn’t know what to do. 

Blinking the memory away, she runs her thumb over his knuckles.“Do you need a second?” She asks, keeping her tone soft. He shakes his head, the hand silencing him slowly withdrawing. “Do you want to go somewhere quieter?”

He doesn’t respond, so Connie stands, Steven following. They break apart to pull on their respective snow clothes, but Steven grabs her hand as soon as his jacket is back on. She squeezes his hand, guiding him out of the diner with a grateful nod to the server. 

The moment the frigid air nips at them and the door is clicked shut, Steven apologizes. Connie hushes him, mentally deciding that he’s not fit to drive. “Do you want to walk back to the temple? We can come back later for the Dondai-” 

“I don’t really feel comfortable going there right now,” he admits. She nods, processing this new information. 

“That’s okay,” she soothes. “How about…” she scans the boardwalk, all of the buildings’ lights are too bright and music too loud- until she recognizes a small path leading to the snowy forest, away from town. “... a walk?” 

His shoulders seem to relax at the notion, so they walk. 

Their winter boots crunch in the snow, and the wind lets up slightly, no longer whipping Connie’s hair into her face. 

Their hands swing between them, keeping their slow, steady rhythm. As the row of colorful shops ends, they’re met with the steep slope up to the woods. Before Connie can reroute them to the path, Steven grips her hand tighter, and leaps into the air. 

She’s carried after him with a startled cry, both his floating powers and super strength lifting her to the top of the small hill.  Once her feet safely touch the ground, Steven floated back down beside her.  . 

They continue to walk. 

Deep browns and greens overtake the pastel colors of the boardwalk, and the whistle of wind swallows the remains of any sentient life. The further they walk, the more purple the sky becomes. Steven’s cheeks and nose are red from the biting cold, but not blinding pink. 

All remains of Beach City have officially dissolved behind them when he breaks the silence. 

“I’m sorry for freaking out over pepperonis.”

The absurdity of the situation finally dawns on Connie. Her concern is replaced with a surprised laugh. 

The boy gives her a slightly worried look. “Sorry- sorry I don’t meant to laugh it’s just-” she can’t even explain, but the giggles keep spilling from her. Relief? Exhaustion? 

Before she can properly apologize, the boy beside her smiles too, escalating for an unexplainable reason until the woods are filled with the music of their conjoined laughter. A flock of birds is startled away when Steven lets out an ugly snort, only leading to more laughter. They were practically falling over each other, trying to keep balance. 

Finally their laughter turned into giggles, and the two friends tried to regain their composure. “I’ve missed this,” Steven said. Connie realized their hands were still linked, even after their fit of hysterics. 

“Missed what?” 

“Laughing, time away from the Gems,” he clarifies. “You.”

Connie fails to stifle her blush, though their blanket of darkness likely (hopefully) shields it. 

“I’ve missed you too,”  she replied. It felt much more vulnerable than she had meant for it to sound. 

As the minutes pass, Steven seems to sober again, his bubbly nature fading. His hand falls from Connie’s. Though the temporary change of tone was welcome, she knew they couldn’t ignore the elephant in the room any longer. If she didn’t prod him to open up, he never would. 

“I’m sure that wasn’t  _ just _ because of pepperoni,” she smiles weakly. His hands jam into his pockets, staring down at his boots. 

Scanning their surroundings, Connie spots a nearby log. It’s nestled in a cluster of trees, several small wildflowers sprouting along its edges. She brushes off some of the snow, sitting proudly. When she sees her friend is still standing, she pats the space beside her as an invitation. The boy obliges. 

Once settled again, Connie sets her bag down, scrambling to keep a calm exterior. Steven needs someone right now, she’ll gladly be that someone. 

“What happened with Little Homeworld?” 

“I already told you,” he’s already on defense. “It just wasn’t working,” 

“Alright, so what about it wasn’t working?” 

“It doesn’t really matter,” the phrase returns, and Connie sighs. 

“Of course it matters,” she states. “If it’s upsetting you, then it’s important.” 

Moments pass, and Connie can see the conflict in Steven’s eyes. She can practically see the thoughts pinging around in his head, torn between denying her help and gushing out all of his frustrations. 

When he turns to look at her, jaw locked, she gives him a patient smile. 

He blinks away for a moment. With a deep sigh, Steven’s walls crack. “There was a graduation, with the Off Colors.” He begins timidly, his voice unsure. “It was planned out, first with me announcing them and such, leading up to when  _ Sadie Killer and the Suspects _ would perform. Then… when Sadie took the final bow she would spot Lars in the audience and- I don’t know. Looking back it was so childish to expect it but, I thought they’d reunite and pretend to not have feelings for each other and everything would be like how it used to be.

As it turns out,  _ Sadie Killer _ had been broken up for.. weeks. Sadie got a new partner, and Lars was okay with it?” Steven lets out a bitter laugh. His words are gradually picking up speed, until they’re flowing out like a waterfall. “The only person that wasn’t okay with it, was  _ me _ .” He looks to Connie. When his nervous gaze is met with an understanding nod, he pushes onward. “Then I went pink again and trapped everyone in a bubble? Not like my normal bubble, but like a big dome. It started to close in on us and I thought I was going to  _ kill my friends  _ because I couldn’t  _ keep it together-”  _ Steven’s cheeks are no longer dusted red, instead engulfed by the vibrant pink. His breathing is erratic, chest heaving. 

“Hey, you’re okay,” Connie sets a steady hand on his shoulder. “Breathe, Steven.” 

He shudders out a rough exhale. The pink fading again. “Sorry,” 

“Don’t apologize,” his hands are gripping onto his jeans, but his breathing seems to have mellowed out. “Can you explain the… pink thing?” 

Though it takes a few minutes, Connie is filled in with the past few months of Steven’s life. From an interaction with Jasper, to learning of his more destructive powers from Volleyball, leading the most recent incident including a cactus. 

“After leaving the school, and watching everyone else go on to better things, I knew I should keep busy,” he’s less tense now, his body is fully facing Connie. She nods along, trying to show that she’s still listening. “Well, I thought about it, and I figured ‘Hey! Why not try something productive? Like gardening…’” His voice fizzles out on the final word. Connie sits up straight, noticing the change. She also takes note of his hands fiddling with his jacket.  _ Why is he so nervous? _

When he doesn’t continue, Connie assumes that it’s still a sore subject. “When was this?” 

“...two days ago.” He mumbles. 

“Are you okay with talking about it?” 

“I don’t know- it doesn’t really matter. I’ve already been sitting here, making you listen to me. Sorry, this was supposed to be your celebration.” His mouth is strained in a fake grin, eyes looking around frantically, as if he’s not seeing clearly. His voice is tight and disconnected. 

_ Ah.  _

__ Her hand links with his, intertwining their fingers. His plastered smile falls away. He whispers another apology.

“We are celebrating.” Connie told him genuinely. “I got out of the house, I went and ate junk food-  _ with my mom’s permission _ , by the way!” Her joke is received with a distant (more honest) smile from Steven. “And best of all,” Her other hand finds its way to his face, cupping his cheek. “I got to see my jam bud.” Steven leans into her touch absently.

“Now all I want to do is help my best friend feel better, and I will do whatever it takes to get him there.” Her voice is lowered, just loud enough for both of them to hear. “If you don’t feel like you can talk about it, that’s okay.” Her thumb brushes under his eyes, along the heavy bruises. “I’ll still be here for you, anyway I can be.”

In a blink she’s suddenly locked in a bear hug. Steven’s face is nuzzled in her neck, arms wrapped around her. “Thank you.” 

Connie is stunned for a moment, before quickly returning the gesture.

Steven’s body begins to shiver with restrained hiccups. “It’s okay,” she says. “You don’t have to hold back around me,” He nods against her, holding her tighter. His subtle sniffs begin to grow, gradually building to a soft cry. When her left hand begins petting calming circles on his back, something seems to break in the boy, and he’s heaving loud sobs against her- the last of his walls crumbling down to dust. 

His hands are desperately clinging into Connie’s coat, muttering apologies into the crook of her neck. She tries to ignore how her heart aches at his cries. 

Her other hand runs fingers through Steven’s chocolate curls, shushing him sweetly. His helpless pleas dissolve into incoherent wails. 

The sky has fully bled into an inky abyss above them, with only the stars lighting them. The wind blows Steven’s hair in her mouth, and her shirt is soaked in her friend’s tears, but she can’t find it in herself to care. 

Eventually, Steven’s blubbering dies down, back to soft hiccups. He breaks their embrace, wiping at his face. “Oh- Connie, I’m sorry!” He winces at the damp spot on her shoulder. “I think I covered you in snot…” he admits with a laugh. 

“Don’t worry about it,” she says, smiling. “Are you feeling a little better?” 

Crickets chirp around them, the moon nowhere to be seen beyond the trees shading them. Neither knows how long they’ve sat there. Neither really cares. 

Steven sits back against the trees behind them. “I don’t think I’ll be back to normal anytime soon.” He confesses. “But right now,” he gingerly takes her hand, interlocking their fingers. “I think I’m okay.” 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> This was beta'd by the lovely technogeekmituna on Tumblr (thank youuuuuu)!  
> Let me know what you thought of it, and I hope you enjoyed. Have a great rest of your day!


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